I'm lost in you

I don't meet people very often, or I don't befriend with people I meet very often, I say hi, I promise things, but friendship scares me and I remain the stranger I was before we met. But sometimes, sometimes I meet someone, someones who does more to me than scaring me. Sometimes I meet someone who frightens me, thrills me, excites me, terrifies me, someone who I fear losing if I don't completely devote myself to this person.

And that's what I do, I hand over myself to you. I give myself to you. I love and desired to be loved back. I lose myself. I get lost.

While you, you don't. You hold back and move on. You let go. You know your way out of the maze, and you leave. You leave while I stay in there, knowing my way out but refuse to do so. I rewalk the path we've walked, touch the things you've touched, breathe the air we inhaled. I get lost in what we were. In your memories in treasured boxes, but in my, my everything.

I'm lost in you.

So, Happy Valentine's Day!

#viatumblr

I wonder ..

I really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted.
One day they are sweet, the next day they are not.
One day they are here, the next day they are not.
One day you are important to them, the next day you are worthless.
One day they say they love you, the next day they don't care about you.
That's how ironic things and people can be.

Pretty shits, pretty lies, pretty FUCKED UP!
But it's still your choice.
Cause you choose to get HURT when you choose to be in LOVE.

You used to make me happy

You used to make me so happy
Now all you do is make me sad
I don’t want to go through this
I thought you were the one
The one I was going to spend my life with
Now I don’t know
Cause now I’m just a mess
I don’t know what I want
I don’t even know if I want you anymore
I put so much effect into the relationship
But you put nothing
I gave up everything for you
You gave up nothing
You said you wanted to be alone
What was I meant to do?
Wait around
Till you knew what to do
Or what you wanted
I waited
Waited for nothing
I’m all confused
I love you
But it’s too hard
All I do is hurt
I cry all the time
Just thinking if I mean anything to you

I MISS

I MISS .. his smile, his laugh, his dimples, his soft voice, his silly jokes, his sweetness, his grin, his warmth, his touch, his hug, his kiss .. holding hands, cuddling ..

I MISS the way he called me 'sayang', the way he pampered me, the way he made me feel better all time, the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me ..

I MISS how he cared for me, how he sat close to me, how he used to be there for me, how he used to tease me jokingly just to make me laugh, how we could just talk about anything together ... I miss when it was only two of us ..

No more 'I miss you so much syg' text. No more sudden text saying 'I love you syg'. No more morning calls from him. No more early breakfast, or dinner or supper. No more spending the whole weekend with him. NO MORE US!

I hate him but I love him, still.

NOTSOPUISI

Engkau tak punya hati
Tinggalkan aku sendiri
Bersama janji-janji yang tak pernah kau tepati
Tapi aku masih di sini
Nekad aku masih berdiri
Mengharap 'cinta' yang takkan pernah datang kembali ...

Melewati malam-malamku kini
Tak punya bulan, tak punya bintang
Aku sunyi, aku sepi .....

Hanya berharap aku pada mimpi
Ke dunia fantasi
Aku tinggalkan realiti
Kan lebih baik begini?

Tersedar aku dari lamunan sendiri
Berbisik hanya pada hati
Adakah masih ada sinar di esok hari?

a l l y s u m d

STAY

Well it's good to hear your voice
I hope you're doing fine
And if you ever wonder,
I'm lonely here tonight
Lost here in this moment and time keeps slipping by
And if I could have just one wish
I'd have you by my side

I miss you.
I need you.

HEY!

It's been a while since my last post.

Heh, I don't know what to update actually.

Lagipun, I think I'm not into blogging anymore, haha.

But I'm not going to close my blog, just akan rarely update this thing.

OK stop with the unnecessary explanation, like who cares? Gahaha.

Oh ya, Salam Ramadhan Al-Mubarak to all muslims.

HAPPY FASTING!